posted by Nicki on Family

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Fable is a very busy girl. VERY BUSY. She’s always up to no good with a laugh and a smile. She can go from innocent to evil in less than five second. Today she was colouring an envelope while I was making dinner and I turned around to scrape onion onto the pan when I turned back around she’d coloured her face blue, the counter and my iPhone. Seriously less than five seconds. But yesterday was a truly spectacular day of disaster.

Here was her top eight terror moves:

1) She got up and immediately went to watch cartoons with Ben. At which point she pulled the door off our TV stand. She pulled the hinge right out. Six years it survived and it couldn’t last 20 unsupervised minutes with her.

2) When I gave her a time out in her crib she laughed and then bounced for a few minutes then kept climbing out. When I told her to stop she’d smile, say ‘okay mommy’ and then do it again two seconds later.*

3) Somehow she managed to get my lunch bag and washed it in the washing machine. Ever tried to get lettuce out of the spin cycle?

4) At the doctor’s office she acted like a perfect angel. She let them weigh her, see how tall she was and measure her head. All things she freaks out about at home. She is in the 25 percentile for weight and 75th for height. Tall and lean my babies are. Everyone told me how nice and sweet she was. RIDICULOUS – that’s a truly evil moves there kid.

5) When we left the doctor’s office she was running – she slipped fell, clonking her head so hard I thought of watermelons exploding. When she got up before I got there she threw up – pink and green tictacs. A quick spin back to the doctors gets her an all clear and ANOTHER STICKER which she coyly asked for (imp).

6) We get home and she immediately runs to her rocking horse, pushes it to the back of the sectional and then uses the horse to climb up the back of the couch. She then flips forward, bounces off her back and then lands on the hardwood. If she didn’t have a concussion before, she was certainly attempting to finish the job.

7) I go to work leaving her in my mom’s capable care. Ben’s at the neighbours so it’s mano-a-mano. That said she managed to get her hands on a marker and colour her brand new Cabbage Patch Doll’s face and hand. Golf clap for the skill that took.

8) At dinner she simply looked at what she was eating and flipped her plate over. Five minutes later she ate salmon off of my plate. ERRRRR YOUR DAD’S ALLERGIC. We spent the rest of the night on death watch hoping she wouldn’t react. She didn’t thank goodness I guess now I can feed her seafood!!

I’d like to get this list to ten but some of the insane things she does are just too common for a list. These are the above and beyond things that she does. In addition to this day, she coloured the wall behind our couch with a ball point pen and last week my little streaker ran down the middle of my mother’s street in nothing but boots and panties.

*Last time she climbed out of her crib she ate – actually chewed and swallowed – a rubber doorstop.